I thought it might be useful to put together a list of books, blogs and articles that I found particularly helpful in healing from the affair. There is a host of material out there but these were the ones that I came across and liked:
– marriagebuilders.com – this was the first website we explored together after the affair and especially the section on Infidelity. Dr. Willard F. Harley Jr. is a lovely man with professional experience and credentials. We liked his style and sound advice.
– “NOT Just Friends” – a book by Shirley Glass – when reading and searching forums and websites this book kept coming up. I ordered it and wasn’t disappointed! Excellent, professional and covers an array of topics and affair scenarios. Everyone who wants to protect their marriage or recover from an affair will find something good in it. Well worth the read, even if it’s long.
– Esther Perel’s Ted Talk Rethinking infidelity is engaging, funny (if there can be anything funny about infidelity) and again she’s one of the professionals in her field. I loved it and listened to it many times.
– www.survivinginfidelity.com website and forum for those affected by this unfortunate plague. Both the betrayed spouse and the wayward one, and even the affair partner, will find useful advice here. There is something reassuring in knowing that so many other people go through the same mess. Interesting articles in The Healing Library section.
– Affair Recovery series on YouTube – many insightful and varied posts, for both spouses, short, easy to listen, for Christian and unbelievers.
– healingaftermyhusbandsaffair.wordpress.com is a very good quality blog in dealing with the aftermath of the affair and all the emotions that follow. Very enjoyable, we often read it together and sometimes Charlie would ask “Is that how you felt?”. The number of followers speak for themselves and a comment that I often came across there was “That’s exactly how I felt, I could have written it myself.”
– www.garythomas.com– Gary is a great teacher on all things connected to marriage, faith, parenting and more. In his blog he writes about many issues and problems people might encounter in marriage and other close relationships. He wrote a series of books beginning with “Sacred…” among them a book “Sacred marriage” in which he explores a notion “What if God invented marriage to make us holy, not happy?”
– “Every man’s battle” by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker. If you need help in battling with lust, pornography, etc. this book addresses those problems from the Christian perspective.
– “My husband’s affair became the best thing that happened to me” book and beyondaffairs.com blog by Anne and Brian Bercht. A couple who experienced and survived an affair turned to helping other couples go through this painful time. You might find useful insights into what drives a happily married man to have an affair.
– http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/sex-and-intimacy/man-up-tell-your-wife-about-your-pornography-addiction?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=fs_article_feb_21 – How Pornography Impacts Marriage
– http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/divorce-and-infidelity/marital-infidelity-recovery-for-both-wounded-spouses/marital-infidelity-recovery-for-both-wounded-spouses?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=fs_article_mar_13 – Marital Infidelity: Recovery for Both Wounded Spouses
– http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p04nm1wc – a story of infidelity told from the perspective of both the wife and the husband. A very interesting interview on BBC which sparked a huge response from listeners
– http://www.faithwire.com/2017/08/05/the-one-thing-guaranteed-to-end-all-marriages/ – a beautiful article about the selfish condition of our hearts which is guaranteed to end any marriage
– http://www.rehabcenter.net/sex-addicted-spouse/ – here is one if you are dealing with sex addiction
–Esther Perel’s Audible series “Where should we begin?” – real life therapy sessions with couples struggling with various problems. Very moving and deep. Season One and Two.
– And the one book that helps in all our earthly struggles: The Bible. Never fails to amaze and change me.
I’ll be adding more to this section as I go along because I keep finding interesting articles, videos and interviews.
*If you prefer a more chronological version of this blog for convenient reading please go to victoryoveraffair.wordpress.com